Miscellany of a Cheshire Cat

Components to a bad day:

• Finding out information too late to save time for yourself and others. Twice.
• Having to force people to answer your questions directly rather than deflect. Twice.
• Getting stuck on an annoying, soul-sapping conference call without much hope for extraction.
• Not having any tasty pudding-yogurt left for lunch.
• Needing to go grocery shopping desperately.
• Being exhausted and fearing the grocery store and therefore procrastinating it. (good and bad really)

Bonus round that almost makes up for the day:
I put in the deposit for our new yurt. It’ll be ready in a couple weeks! Sadly, we’re only getting it in time for Pennsic because someone else had to drop out of the yurt queue… but at least we can give their yurt a happy home!

tags: bad day, communication, meetings, tired, work, yurt

The following is an excerpt from a conversation with slyppi last night… this morning, far past our bedtime.

Me: Perhaps the use of “reliquary” when referring to a wedding keepsake box connotes something they don’t want to connote… [referring to the wedding reliquary box]

Slyppi: “felt-lined to hold jewelry, coins, small objects and, of course, wedding keepsakes.”
Such as, your groom’s ring finger.
Minus his flesh.

So technically reliquaries are for holy relics and wedding keepsakes could be considered holy… but most often, when I hear about reliquaries they’re holding bits of saints. Usually little, dried out bits that still resemble the original bits…

tags: late night conversations, reliquary, unfortunate english, weddings

This song and video makes me giggle a lot with great glee so I must share it with the world!

In other news, apparently the use of the word “douche” as a negative descriptor is coming back in vogue.

Apparently I’m on a language kick this week. No real surprise there.

I know we constantly recycle fashion and movies in this culture but you’d think we’d at least be able to come up with some new insults. “Douche” in particular reminds me of grade school and apparently is mapped to that age in my mind. Every time I hear or read someone using it I think they’re 12 years old. Then I start watching out for spit balls and nose-picking, because that’s bound to come next. I realize this is mostly in my head but it’s highlyamusing when the Fop uses the word and I do a double take and exclaim, “What are you? 12?” Seriously, folks, let’s come up with some better insults and descriptors rather than the old standbys and recycling ridiculousness from years past.

If you must recycle, reach into the deep past, please select your insults from the ages, eons past (instead of the 1980s please… we don’t need to recycle anything else from that decade). Here are some suggestions that aren’t too archaic (at least to me, and I know that’s a special perspective) that you can start using in place of more mundane, over-used insults and negative adjectives. As an added bonus, you’ll be able to use these words in polite company and even in meetings because they sound more context-appropriate.

Miscreant: a person who behaves badly or in a way that breaks the law (noun or adjective)
example: We have some miscreant users who keep changing their login scripts and breaking the server.

Mountebank: a person who deceives others, especially in order to trick them out of their money; a charlatan. See: quack. (noun)
example: He’s a total mountebank - don’t believe a word he says, his estimates are fabrications.

There you go! 2 words to work into your conversations this week! They’re not too far off the beaten trail, linguistically speaking, I think. But perhaps you should practice the follow-up phrase, “Go look it up in a dictionary” if it becomes necessary. Or if you’re feeling nice, define them as required by your audience.

tags: cats, communication, hey little sparta, insults, language, songs, youtube

Thinking things through is always important in business. Thinking through your acronyms is VERY important! I am often amused and amazed by some of the acronyms we end up with at work. “Acronym rich” and “alphabet soup” do not suffice to describe the nightmare sea of letters we navigate. You can see the lost acronyms float across the eyes of new team members as the gloss over after trying to decipher a sentence comprised entirely of shot-gunned letters. What’s worse is that sometimes it’s very hard to undo the acronyms when asked. Conceptually, I can explain to you what an “IPT” is, but I always forget what each letter actually stands for. To add insult to injury, in many places I’ve worked, the acronyms shift from functional area to functional area, some of them overlap. At a previous job, what I thought of as “QM” (quiz module) was not what our development team thought of as “QM” (quiz management) and was certainly not what corporate thought of as “QM” (quality management).

And then there are the people so desperate to shorten everything that we end up with acronyms that spell hilarious or inappropriate words. “F/u” is a favorite I see flying by quite a bit. My job title is abbreviated to PMM but could have easily been PMS. BM is not the best acronym for an online test system, WTPS echoes “TPS reports” of Office Space fame, and the list goes on… The worst I saw was a Customer Notification Tracker…

I think every company should have a Keeper of the Acronyms. Perhaps with a crown and scepter just for effect. This person would maintain the Acronym Translation System, a wiki-based rosetta stone for the secret lingo of the company, as well as settle any problems with disputed territory. Wouldn’t that solve so many problems?

Okay, perhaps some overlapping acronyms are necessary - but the Keeper of the Acronyms could raise awareness for these overlaps and enable better communication. Ideally when one team talks about SOWs to another team, everyone’s on the same page (SOW = statement of work, a fairly standard one for us) and no one’s thinking about bacon.

tags: acronyms, comics, silly, user friendly

“Kerfuffle” is my word of the day. I think it’s a fabulous word - fun to say and write - plus it accurately describes many of the firedrills I deal with at work without increasing the alarm, stress or chaos of the situation. Sometimes, using “kerfuffle” is even understatement. Expressive without overt sarcasm!

kerfuffle: (Scottish descent) a disorderly outburst, tumult or fuss. In other words, a small dose of chaos. synonyms: stir, to-do, distruption, disturbance, flutter.

It’s not a very formal word, but it’s a British import and underused as well which somehow makes “kerfuffle” slightly more acceptable to the people I keep using it with. It seems to put the chaos in appropriate perspective. What fascinates me about the questions and issues I’m fielding this week is that so many are just a matter of pointing out the trees to folks who are only seeing the forest. Even I am looking to provide more complicated answers to some of the questions and only to have someone say, “That’s what I needed to know!” while I was still talking through the background information I had. I feel useful at least!

Oh, since it’s actually June now…

May Stats:

• Flickr: 33 new photos, 355 unique visitors.
• Miscellaney of a Cheshire Cat: 14 new posts, 4929 hits.

Am I the only one having a hard time grasping that it’s June and essentially summer and such? On one hand, it’s hard to believe it’s June but on the other it feels like it’s been summer for ages. It’s been cooler the last day or so, but it’s been in the 80s here since early May and April was pretty warm too. The National Weather Service has already issued a heat advisory for tomorrow. Ugh.

tags: heat, kerfuffle, language, statistics, weather, words, work

Perhaps I am infectiously obnoxious. I was in a meeting this morning with a powerpoint presentation being shared of the web. The first slide read:

Project Support Team/Knowledge Transfer Team: Here to Help

I have infected more people with my catch phrase! *evil laugh* Once upon a time, I was between jobs. Since I was just job hunting and such, I saw lots of friends and showed up to many calls for assistance. My first statement upon arriving at a move, pre-party prep session, gardening day, etc. was, “I’m here to help.” After dropping a big box of books on my foot, “I’m here to help.” After teasing someone mercilessly about something silly, “I’m here to help, but I didn’t necessarily say whom I was here to help!” In a short time, my friends and family realized that I was trekking around for my own amusement and that accepting my “help” had a certain amount of risk associated with it since ultimately I was there for my own amusement.

When I did take a new job, it was a support management position so of course, “I’m here to help” stayed in my idiolect. No surprise, sarcasm crept into my delivery of the catch phrase and stayed there. When I changed jobs again, the sarcasm ebbed a bit and the genuine helpfulness returned. Of course, I quickly found myself in need of more help than I could give on the Project of Doom. The catch phrase fell out of my professional idiolect until the Project of Doom completed and I got assigned to the PST/KTT referenced above.

The team was new and still defining itself. In fact, I had a hard time figuring out what the boundaries were for our duties when supporting projects. At one point I turned to my boss and said, “So we’re here to help?” She said, “Exactly.” As things got entertainingly crazy, I repeated “Here to help” as a mantra. The problem with a loosely defined purpose is that it’s easy to get dragged in deeper and deeper until support becomes serious hand-holding. “We’re here to help” continued to accurately define our role even if we did say it sarcastically sometimes. My boss even queues me to say it during meetings team meetings. I tell my project managers that I support that I’m here to help them with anything I can.

Well, clearly it caught on. Some of the mischievous sense of the phrase has remained as well as the sense of “I didn’t say whom I was here to help.” Our team serves many different groups and organizations and juggles a lot of different best interests. The nice part is that we really are here to help. It’s a simple, straight-forward nice way of summing up what we do. Sure, sometimes we run around doing silly little things no one else has time for. Other times we dive far deeper into the data than anyone else. But it’s all encompassed by “Here to Help” and we’re communicating that mission loud and clear.

The photograph of the mossy rock is actually the top of the stone wall around the nearby graveyard. Click for a larger version - the focus is quite narrow/short and the effect is kind of neat.

tags: communication, here to help, moss, project management, rocks, support, work

Taking a little break from zoo pics. Here’s a shot of Venice. There are many things I like about Venice as well as many things that make me never want to live there. This picture embodies much what I like: varied architectural styles, a startling amount of greenery, various docking and moorings, foot bridges and incredible light. I also love water doors, but you can’t see one here. I took this from one of the small ferries that loop all the way around and through Venice. It’s totally worth whatever small amount we spent on the trip. I can’t think of another city where you can get such a comprehensive “bus” tour with so little traffic and such unobstructed views. Of course, it was really really cold on the boat, but that’s a minor detail.

Congestion sucks. It sucks more when it causes massive headaches and persists through doses of Caritin. Today is somewhat better than yesterday - no active headache, but there’s definitely one waiting to swoop in if I’m not nice. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I suspect a diagnosis of an on-going sinus infection that has finally become unbearable.

Technical Project Management - talk to people!
In other news, my work projects are moving right along though one of the project managers I’m supposedly assisting is ignoring my e-mail. Astounding. There’s a peculiar mindset I keep encountering in project managers, that is very insular, secretive and territorial. This is an utterly counterproductive attitude to have. You end up repeating mistakes, having to relearn alone everything your colleagues could help you figure out more quickly, and hitting all the pitfalls and delays along the way. Oh, and you end up alienating people from other departments who are supposed to be supporting you. I may pester my DBA or disk storage guy a little much, but they appreciate that I ask questions and make them clarify things until I understand things fully. I try to ask my stupid questions intelligently at least and I almost always take notes so I don’t end up asking the question again. It helps that I come from a technical background and can grasp what they’re talking about fairly quickly but I think even the non-technical project manager working on a technical project should be interested in some of the geeky underpinnings of their project.

Some project managers are afraid of tech-speak or technology concepts or just don’t want to get bogged down with the details. Me, I love the details. The details not only hold intellectual interest and provide additional perspective on my project but they give me a way to bond with my tech folks. Building a good relationship with the tech folks can be more valuable than you ever imagined. First, if you show that you value their input, skills and opinions, they are more likely to raise their concerns sooner and in a constructive manner. If crisis hits, they’re more likely to put in 110% for your project because they feel like part of your team.

Of course, communing with technical people doesn’t always work. Sometimes you just don’t click or accidentally take too much of the person’s time with your questions. Honestly, I’ve found most people respond well to a genuine, intelligent effort to learn more. Some people, regardless of field, are too bitter and jaded to care that I’m interested but I try anyway. About half the time I get through their sharp and pointy exteriors and forge an alliance of some sort. The other half of the time I end up with more information than I started with so it’s still a win.

Technology just seems to be the most common phobia I see but there are many others. Asking questions is a great way to form a relationship with your finance people, quality control team and process folks, to name a few. By learning more about what they’re doing for you and what you need to do for them you are making their jobs easier as well as your own. A 15 minute conversation may save everyone a day’s work. It doesn’t get better than that when you’re trying to deliver on-time and under budget.

tags: canals, communication, italy, project management, technical project management, technology, venice

• Part the First: Bald eagle at the Philadelphia Zoo

The zoo has a pair of bald eagles who like to pose for the camera however last time I visited only one came out to strut about. I should take pictures of their claws as well. They are impressively powerful birds. Majestic? Not so much. But definitely powerful carnivores who are not to be messed with.

• Part the Second: In which I take a quick walk and don’t get rained on

I took a quick walk at lunch today - about 2 miles in 35 minutes or so. I enjoyed it despite the cold, gray, damp weather that was actively threatening rain. However, this afternoon I feel incredibly mellow and spacey. It’s been a while since I had such an exercise high. Once upon a time I lived in Vancouver and would go jogging in the morning along the Seawall. I ended up giving it up because the post-exercise high made me a danger to myself and others during my morning commute. I would be in such bliss that I simply wouldn’t care about traffic or potentially getting in an accident or anything. I considered this to be, generally, a bad state of mind to be in while driving, even in Vancouver. Thank goodness Vancouver has some of the most polite drivers on the planet otherwise I might not have lived through my morning jogging phase!

So I sit here all mellow, drinking my water, and wonder what I can do to counter act this annoying yet blissful state. I am vaguely useless … well, at least I think I am. Tomorrow morning I’ll look at the presentation I whipped up after lunch and see if it’s any good. Perhaps I shouldn’t have skipped making tea for lunch. At any rate, we’ll see if this is just a one-time relapse of mellow-spaceyness or if it persists. I think I’ll really like lunchtime walks. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely little high, just not a very productive one!

• Part the Third: In which I send a quick little e-mail and make a lot of folks happy

Communication is easy. I don’t know why more people don’t do it. Once my project was approved I sent a quick update to a group of potential users who had helped out with a questionnaire and providing their input. You’d think they’d never been updated before! Half of the group responded gleefully, grateful to have received the update and enthusiastic to do more. Each of the respondents mentioned that most often whenever they provide feedback it seems to go into a blackhole. I admit that I updated them specifically because I hoped they would volunteer to help more with the project but I didn’t expect quite the response I got. Even if I hadn’t wanted to leverage them for other work, I would have sent them a thank you note with the news of the project. That seems just simple common courtesy. Their feedback was incredibly useful in supporting the proposal I wanted to put forward. They responded quickly and on short notice.

My my mission shouldn’t be to become Wiki Queen but to instead ensure that no one feels their feedback is going into a blackhole in the future! (Of course, my master plan for this includes a wiki…)

tags: bald eagles, communication, eagles, exercise, philadelphia zoo, technology, vancouver, walking, wiki, zoo