I finished a pre-release memoir last night about a girl who stumbles through the sports betting world.

The cautionary tale is not to avoid gamblers and bookies. It’s not even that such activity is to be avoided. In fact the cautionary tale was more personal than that: Don’t write a crappy memoir.

I’m sure this memoir pitched like a charm – the exciting life and bad decisions of a girl coming of age among professional gamblers, bookies and other people one might consider of a “questionable element.” The blurb provided by Goodreads.com even made it sound exciting and engaging. (Disclaimer: I was provided this book free of charge through Goodreads.com in advance of the publication date in exchange for writing a review on Goodreads.com.) The best thing I can say about it is that the grammar and writing were at an acceptable level.

Alas, I found it dull. And I have no picked it apart to figure out why, what bugged me and why I feel this book fell short. The result is a set of rules for myself and my future memoir writing exercises.

Don’t misplace your voice among all the interesting people in your memoir.

The author forgot her own voice in and around the in-depth descriptions of each of her major and minor characters. She provided so much back-story and side-story that was, sadly, not interesting enough to be there in such volume, that her own story was lost. I didn’t relate to her and at times I didn’t even believe her. So much exposition, so little storytelling.

Don’t have inaction be the driving force in your memoir unless something really exciting or horrible happens due to said inaction.

Also, her story is just not that interesting. She made bad decisions, but they’re not spectacularly bad, but it seemed that more often the author ended up where she was through inaction and passivity rather than a bad decision or any other participation in her own life. Just like we don’t care about your story if you’re incredibly lucky and fall into barrels of gold doubloons and that’s all there is, I think a reader wants more from a narrator than a meandering and muddling through life.*

*The exception might be made for brilliant, painfully beautiful prose describing the meandering, muddling and inactivity…

Don’t use flashbacks without an obvious reason. Or a subtle reason. Or a reason your reader can divine using runes, an astrological chart and a compass.

Yes, yes, I know she just had to fit in the stories from the time in her life when she was an escort and ran her own porn site. It would have been nice if they’d tied into anything else we were reading about at the time. Even a fake line or two about looking at the Vegas showgirls and flashing back to it would have helped. So while the writing was sound enough, the construction and flow of the story was somewhat lacking.

Don’t immerse your readers in a world without teaching them more about it.

This book could have had more detail about sports betting. I actually have uncharitable thoughts about the author’s intelligence because she describes having a hard time grasping the concepts and ultimately never goes into the details I craved. Maybe my expectations were too high for the book, but I really thought I’d learn more than a little of the lingo.

Don’t write a memoir if all the exciting, life-changing events happen to someone else.

I felt supreme apathy towards the narrator in this book. I always knew she’d muddle through and, by way of her inaction, end up with something to sustain her unambitious life. I worried about her professional gambler, her bookie and even some of the colleagues far more. I was interested in their lives. These other people were the driving forces of the book, not the author. She was bounced about in their wakes.

This book would have been great if it had been deliberately written as a series of stories about the author’s mentors in the gambling world. Unfortunately, it was written as a memoir in a narrative voice that was not strong or interesting enough to carry the stories she was trying to tell. The exposition and back-story weakened the immediacy of the action and just made the book plod on forever.

Perhaps I had the wrong expectations going into this book. Perhaps I am unsympathetic to unambitious narrators. Either way, the uncorrected pre-publication copy is in my recycle box. Harsh? Yes, but unintentionally. I won’t be recommending it to anyone and can’t resell it as a used book, so what else is there? Ultimately “apathy” is my primary feeling towards the book and, in an effort to gain something from the experience, I now have my list of what not to do when I someday, full of folly, write my own memoir.

Lay the Favorite: A Memoir of Gambling by Beth Raymer will be published June 2nd.

books, memoir