Last week’s debate was vaguely disappointing. McCain struck me as using unnecessary condescension as filler. Obama rewrote his questions rather than answering directly. I guess I should have expected all that but I hadn’t watched a political debate in quite some time.

Things I think would be hilarious to see at Thursday’s Vice Presidential Debate but we likely won’t see:

  1. Biden setting up a little sign on his podium that reads, “I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed candidate.”
  2. Palin wearing a button with a picture of a pit bull wearing lipstick.
  3. The moderator wondering aloud, “How did Katie Couric deal with interviewing that Palin woman twice…”
  4. When the moderator asks Biden if he wants to respond to Palin’s answer, Biden says, “She didn’t answer the question or really say anything of substance so there’s nothing for me to respond to.”
  5. Biden stifling giggles every time Palin refers to living near Russia as foreign policy experience and Alaska as a microcosm of the United States.*

(* No offense to Alaskans, but your state is very different than most of the others. Vast wilderness, remote pockets of population, extreme weather conditions, rich, cultural influences found no where else in the country… I’d love to live there actually, but it would be like moving to another country rather than just another state.)

Sadly, what we are likely to see are a lot of empty answers again. Palin will probably defer to McCain’s record on everything (since she doesn’t have one). This will conveniently allow to Biden to attack McCain directly. (Attacking Palin is almost too easy. Which is not to say he won’t, but McCain is a more worthy target.)

Sarah Palin is the most mock-able and quotable VP candidate since Dan Quayle. She may even eclipse his glorious record before the election. She does give me hope though… I know that, with my degree in Medieval English, career in IT and extensive foreign travel experience, I would make a better Vice President than she would. And I would make Katie Couric smile in a good way when she interviewed me.

Senator McCain? I’d be happy to entertain your offer if you’d like to trade up. Trust me, even though we disagree on most issues and I’m a liberal independent, I’d likely improve your chances of getting elected.

For the good of the economy we need to keep Palin out of office. Imagine how many Saturday Night Live writers will be laid off if she stays on the national stage!

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