We are home. Now, I will indulge in the ramblings of a tired traveler.

I think I’m becoming too cranky about air travel. Insert the usual rant about TSA here… I’ll throw in some nice comments about the airport experience today for balance.

Today: I watched an older TSA agent assist an older passenger repack her carry-on bag and put all her toiletries in a zip-top bag, and he did this politely and respectfully. I had my computer backpack (without the computer in it of course) sent through the x-ray twice because apparently all the loose change I throw in one of the pockets was a problem along with the “tons of change and overlapping gadgets”. (Well, I throw the change in there because I have to go through a metal detector and my gadgets were actually quite well distributed throughout the bag, really!) The nice TSA x-ray operator was very gentle with my bag because she saw that I had a sand dollar packed in there carefully!

But does anyone really feel safer taking off their shoes?[1] I watched several less flexible people struggle with that step of security - both taking off their shoes and getting them back on again. TSA used the metal detector wands on another couple of people I suspect because they saw it would be faster and better for all involved to wand the passengers rather than have a nice little old lady take off her very light-weight zip sweater, shoes, medical alert bracelets, thick glasses and who knows what else. The TSA agent was still very thorough with the wands - in fact, much more thorough than I’ve seen them be in larger airports.

Of course, they also did a bag search because a man had a flashlight in the bottom of his bag… They knew it was a flashlight when they saw it on the x-ray yet still needed to search the bag. I guess what was clearly a flashlight on x-ray might have been something more sinister upon closer examination.

The anxiety of it all: I admit that I not only hate the unloading of laptops and stripping off of my coat, sweater and shoes, I also get anxious about it, especially in crowded airports. I am nervous about someone swiping one of my laptops while I’m trying to balance on one foot while slipping on a shoe. I worry that I’m going to drop something along the way. I probably frustrate a lot of people in line behind me because I need 4 bins and still have to put my bags on the belt too. I travel alone most of the time, so it’s just me looking out for my stuff! I have, in fact, left a computer at security by accident before - I was late for a flight and luckily guy behind me in line ran to catch up with me to return it to me. I have been nearly pushed over while trying to put a slip-on shoe back on.

And I am one of those people who has to at least partially repack right there on the belt after the x-ray machine. I simply do not have enough arms to hold everything that they make me pull out of my bags for the x-ray machine. That’s why I carry all that stuff in bags![2]

Okay, the Security dance is something that makes me anxious - and I’m a business traveler who flies regularly, knows the drill, is in good health and has no particularly impeding conditions other than too many electronics which I’d never put in my checked luggage anyway.[3]

What if… Today I tried to imagine doing all that with a frail body and all the other accessories that come with being age 75. Granted, I doubt there are many 75 year olds flying with 2 laptops, but it’s still daunting to think of the increased difficulty and obstacles involved. I’ll probably have serious back problems and possibly knee problems by then. My hands will be weak from arthritis. Would my liquid medication all fit in the silly zip-top bag? Will my feet swell making it difficult to get in and out of my specially-fitted orthopedic shoes? If the metal detector is more sensitive than usual will I even be able to get my rings off my fingers for the first time in ages or did my knuckles swell up too? Hopefully I won’t slip walking around in my stocking feet.

TSA agents: The TSA agents I interacted with today were respectful, kind and considerate - they were also located at a small airport dealing a low volume of travelers in an affluent region. They are an exceptionally positive example of the TSA agents I’ve interacted with. More often than not the agents I see in larger airports (and most airports are larger than the one we flew out of today) are abrasive, disrespectful and, in some cases, inattentive to their actual duties. Apparently it’s fine to berate someone for not being able to move very quickly or very far because her cane is in the x-ray machine. It’s also an option to belittle and lecture people regularly for any little infraction.

All this to give foolish Americans a false sense of security. I sigh in the general direction of Washington, DC which apparently banks on the lowest-common-denominator when it comes to public security policy. I realize there is some necessity for inconvenience when it comes to air travel - I concede that taking my computers out of the backpack probably speeds up the x-ray examination - however so much of the effort is being expended in vain. We all might agree that making a determined domestic or international terrorist take off his shoes is not going to stop him.

TSA is becoming more responsive to the “market” I think - the solid state drives on the MacBook Air laptop threw them for a loop but now photos of what the SSDs look like have been distributed. The TSA agents have little blue lights and magnifying glasses now that help them authenticate IDs better and faster. 18 explosive-detecting canine units have been trained and more puppies are at bomb-school according to the latest TSA blog post. The super-scanner which uses millimeter waves to achieve whole-body imaging is popping up in more airports.

Balance: I’ve heard it called a balancing act between speed and security. Well we haven’t found a balance point yet - we’re not even at the point where policies are implemented consistently from airport to airport. I wouldn’t mind if it were effective security instead of silly hoops to jump through, even if those hoops were put up in response to a past terrorist threat. I could even deal with security taking a little longer. Even at Ben Gurion airport in Israel where security is considered to be among the best in the world[4] and check-in can take multiple hours, travelers leave their shoes on.

Notes:
[1]I know. I harp on this quite a bit. But remember Shoe-bomber Richer Reid couldn’t actually get his shoe-bomb lit in the air. That detail always makes me giggle.
[2]I love bags.
[3]Checking a bag just means I don’t need to pull out my zip-top Freedom Bag of tiny toiletries for all the world to see. I’m sure the man behind me in line was curious what brand of deodorant I use.
[4]By the way, some techniques employed by airport security in Israel are explicitly illegal in the U.S. (racial profiling for example). Security routinely takes multiple hours and passengers go through security, including x-ray for all luggage, before checking their bags.

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